Questions & Doubters

Yesterday, I was once again asked The Question. I have a son who recently turned five, and people are very interested in where he’ll be going to school and when he starts. Everyone seems to have lots of opinions.

I always answer resolutely, “He’s already in school. We’re homeschooling.”

Reactions vary after that. Some people are enthusiastic; others don’t care. Some get downright irritated (and I’ll admit—sometimes their reactions irritate me! But I am starting to develop a thick skin about the whole thing). However, almost everyone says one or more of the following comments:

“I don’t know how people can homeschool! How can you stand being with your kids all day?”

“Aren’t you worried he isn’t going to learn anything?”

“He’ll never have any friends that way.”

“Is that even legal?”

“Do you homeschool all of your kids? How can you do that?”

             “What made you decide to do a thing like that?”

It is important to remember that people who ask these questions usually do so out of a genuine concern for the children. There is significant misinformation out there about homeschooling, and every homeschooler is confronted by some misinformed person at some point or another. Some of us are more fortunate than others, and do not experience much confrontation. Others encounter it from all sides—family, friends, acquaintances, and passersby.

The way these questions are answered depends on the individual family. However, it is generally wise to have your answers prepared before the questions arise. I have been caught off-guard a few times and one or two ill-meaning adversaries have taken advantage of my surprise. Now that I have experienced significant opposition, I am prepared for the comments that people make.

One of my favorite ways of answering homeschool doubters is to have my five-year-old begin explaining what he has learned recently. They can usually tell by his vocabulary that he's a smart kid. However, I haven’t always been able to push the answer off to him.

One of my favorite techniques is to argue with myself. I wrote my reasons down and argued with myself. It can be very beneficial to see your ideas on paper. It gives you the chance to identify and clarify any points that seem weak. Challenge your own statements. Arguing with yourself may sound stupid, but may make you sound a lot smarter when you are approached by naysayers.

   

How do you handle questions and doubters?

Strategies for FT Homeschooling Parents

The decision to home school is always a major, life-altering decision. Parents who work full-time are often faced with a terrible conflict when faced with the decision. Single parents, as well as parents who work for a much-needed second income, don't have the luxury of quitting their job even if homeschooling is the best choice for their child.

There's good news: with hard work and devotion, you can do both.

Establish a Routine

Establish a routine. If you have a rotating work schedule, a solid routine can be difficult to maintain. However, at least document how much time every day you want to spend doing various tasks. Knowing what needs to get done and when creates organization and order. In the mad rush of life, this organization can dispel feelings of chaos and stress by keeping you on track and giving you a standard by which you can measure success.


Encourage Independence

Older children can work independently and can stay home while you are at work. During school hours, lay down the expectations for the next day's independent study time. Provide assignments or projects for the children to work on while you are at work. This will keep them focused and learning for at least some of the time that you are at work.

Prioritize

Many of us feel driven to be the best, most productive and most impressive people we can be. Often times, this leads to over-committing our time, energy and resources to a variety of tasks.
Homeschooling parents who work full-time must prioritize their time and learn how to say “no” to opportunities they don't have time for—even if they are good ones. It can be very difficult to say “no” to a good opportunity, but it is essential for successful. You only have so many hours in a day, and spending all of that time with extra work, volunteering, planning, etc. will detract from time spent teaching.

Make a prioritized list of things you need to accomplish in a day and write the list down as a visual reminder. Top priorities get done first, so make sure that homeschooling is near the top of the list.

Coordinate with Other Homeschoolers

When possible, find a home school family (or find another working parent who wants to home school their children) and coordinate schedules so that your child can be cared for in a home learning environment while you are at work. Be sure to offer to take the other family's children when possible.

Sacrifice Perfection on the Altar of Reality


Ultimately, all parents must sacrifice their dreams of perfection. Only a superhero can keep their house immaculately clean, their children cared for (let alone educated!), and be wildly successful at their job all the time. Things are going to come up short sometimes. The trick is to balance as best you can, and be okay with the results. Set realistic goals and don't browbeat yourself for short comings.

All full-time working, homeschooling parents deserve praise and admiration, no matter what the house looks like or whatever else they sacrifice in their lives. Kudos to you for your remarkable decision to home school, despite the limitations on your time and energy. You certainly have my respect and admiration (and sympathy—I know what it's like!).

In the Comments: Do you have any questions/comments about homeschooling and working full time? Do you have any success stories? I'd love to hear from you!